Job Posting

Wanted: Supervisor of Elections

Broward, Palm Beach, and Miami-Dade Counties

Job description:

Organize and supervise elections; maintain list of eligible voters, recruit and train poll workers, and devise ballots.

Skills and qualifications:

Must be a halfway competent person who can count. Must be able to deal with old people, most of whom can't do anything without it being spelled out in 50-point font and thrust right in front of their faces. Even then they'll have lots of questions so you need to have a lot of training for them. All the voters are old people and all the poll workers are too, so this is why dealing with them is so important. Must have a semblance of technological aptitude and the foresight to test machines before election day.

Send resumes to the voters of Broward, Palm Beach, and Miami-Dade counties. Also send a copy to Jim Smith, acting Florida Secretary of State. Bonus points for ability to say you made a mistake.