Actual conversation from Saturday:

Girl (to me): So do you have a girlfriend?
Haiwen: (stifles a laugh)
Girl (still to me): Oh, are you gay?
Me: No! (more calmly) No, I don't have a girlfriend. Haiwen thinks that my standards are just too high.
Haiwen (muttering): Yeah, you need to lower them to girls you don't already know.
Girl: Well, it's always good to tell a girl that you have high standards, even if you don't. Otherwise, she might wonder what you're doing with her. So what are you looking for in a girl, anyway?
Me: Well, all that I want from a girl is...
Girl: And you should never say "All that I want from a girl is...." Unless it's something sort of sweet, that'll make her say, "Awww."
Me: All right. So I'm looking for someone I can see movies with. And who knows ancient Greek and/or Hittite. And who's on the shy side of 150.
Girl (after a long pause): One hundred fifty what? Pounds? Do you realize how big that is?