Speaking of America vs. the world: one of the less enviable parts of my job involves searching my firm's database of current and prospective investors for the names of terrorists or other undesirables. These names are provided to me on a weekly basis in a fax from the Department of the Treasury. I duly search for the names, but don't feel too good about it, given that I have no idea what the criteria might be for inclusion on the DoT's list, and especially because most of the names are clearly of Arab origin....

Anyway, this is all part of the lovely USA PATRIOT act of more than a year and a half's duration, which I'm sure you've heard about. But did you know that USA PATRIOT is actually an acronym? You can't make this stuff up: it stands for "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism." This makes me nostalgic for some of my favorite absurd acronyms from more innocent contexts, like Calvin and Hobbes's Get Rid Of Slimy girlS club ("GROSS") and The Simpsons' Springfieldians for Non-violence, Understanding and Helping ("SNUH"). As usual, though, fiction is roundly trumped by reality.