Dan Savage makes a point i've tried to make several times, but far more eloquently:

[in response to a reader who heard her boyfriend date raped two of his friends by lowering their inhibitions with coke]
First off, DIDHE, coke is not a date-rape drug. Date-rape drugs, as commonly understood, are substances that render a girl practically comatose, obliterating her will and any ability to resist. If anything, DIDHE, cocaine would have to be considered the opposite of a date-rape drug.

Second, let's define the terms "rape" and "date rape" for all the college sophomores out there: Being pressured into having sex that you regret the next morning does not mean you were raped. Being seduced does not mean you were raped, nor does consenting to sex when you were drunk or high. If someone is pressuring you or seducing you or hitting on you when you're drunk or high, and you try to get up and leave or tell him to stop, and he physically prevents you from leaving and forces you to have sex with him against your will–that's rape. If it happens on a date, that's date rape.

Okay, DIDHE, if the ugly rumor you heard about your boyfriend is true, that means he's a jerk and an asshole and a shit, but not a rapist. (If I were cynical, I might suggest that you were inclined to believe the worst because it makes your decision to dump him a little bit easier.) Should you tell him what you heard? Yes, you should. At the very least, he needs to know that pressuring girls into having sex can earn a guy a reputation as a rapist, even if he never actually raped anyone.

Its all there... This is not rape, rape is worse, but it still makes him a jerk and someone who needs to learn how to communicate. By calling all such things rape you just make people defensive and inflate stats to the point of being unbelievable and don't address the underlying important communication issue.