22 September 2003

I know that we usually avoid posting teen magazine-type quizzes on this blog, but I just can't resist:
1. You spend your evenings:

A. On the phone with your girlfriends, chatting exclusively about your latest flame.
B. Hanging out with your family.
C. With friends, always with friends, looking for the guys.
D. Calling your crush and hanging up.

2. How far would you go to spot your crush?

A. Be sure to take the long route to class, checking out his locker.
B. Drive the long way home from school, past his house or football practice.
C. Buy tickets to a concert you know he's gonna be at.
D. Not much, maybe just sit at his table at lunch.

3. How many times have you looked at wedding magazines in the last year?

A. Less than 3.
B. 3-10.
C. 11-15.
D. More than 15.

4. Have you practiced writing your name with his before?

A. Yes.
B. No.

5. Have you prayed for him?

A. Yes, on my own.
B. Yes, at a small group.
C. No.


1. A=5, B=0, C=2, D=4.
2. A=2, B=5, C=3, D=0.
3. A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4.
4. A=5, B=0.
5. A=3, B=5, C=0.

If you scored between 17 and 24, you are totally crushed out!
Chill out, girl. God's gonna provide a man when the time is right. No need to become a stalker. Check your priorities.

If you scored between 10 and 16, you are boy-crazy! Okay, you're a little boy-crazy, but not abnormal. Still, you might want to get in the Scripture and refocus on God.
Remember all your fulfillment is in Him.

If you scored between 0 and 9, you are level headed!
Right on. You're not carried away about guys. Sounds like you've got your priorities in order!

Anyway, this is a quiz from Revolve, a new edition of the New Testament rather astonishingly disguised as a beauty magazine, the better to market it to teen girls. (Thanks to my dad for the link.) I think I might have to buy a copy (for Drew Hu, of course), or at least browse through it discreetly at Barnes and Noble. The cover sort of sucks you in: What are those beauty secrets that you've never heard before? ("You need a good, balanced foundation for the rest of your makeup," quotes this article. "Kinda like how Jesus is the strong foundation in our lives.") How can a you tell if you're dating a godly guy? Best of all, who are these "guys" speaking out on tons of important issues? (Is one of them Ashton?)

As the ABC article above points out, this sort of bait and switch isn't a new thing. (I remember having a terrific-looking fire and brimstone comic book when I was younger called Exorcists that was Christian propaganda disguised as a Tales From the Crypt-type shocker, with dialogue like: "Did you know that the Hindu pantheon has over 600 million gods, all of them Satanic?")

But you know what I really think about all this. Anyone who isn't reading the New Testament in ancient Greek is just slacking off.

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