One of the reasons I really like Cary Tennis, aside from his combination of harsh pragmatism and hopeless romanticism, is that, although much of his advice is run of the mill and uncertain, every once and while you get something that you know comes from a deap old wound and he doens't hide it... Like today:

I wish I knew everything because then I would know what is in your wife's mind. I would know whether she is extremely unusual. I would know how much she is drinking and whether she intends to continue. I would know whether she just needed a dance partner to get out of the marriage or whether this new love came on her unbidden like a storm. I'd know what to tell you for sure.

As it is, I'm just a guy you wrote a letter to, and I can only tell you what's happened to me. What has happened to me is that once a woman has left she has never come back. Never. Maybe I have only known decisive women, or maybe that's how most women are. My belief, based on my experience, is that women don't come back.

Every now and then a hurricane will turn on its heel and go back where it came from and the meteorologists will clap their hands over their mouths and stare in blank astonishment. Every now and then a woman will come home. But if you were my friend and I cared about you, I'd tell you not to count on it. I'd tell you to move on.