I'll say this much for going to India: it's definitely the cheapest way yet devised for having a bad time overseas. Not that I regret coming here. I've made some great friends, I've seen a lot of elephants, and I've been successfully conned by a five-year-old. (More about this later.)

But every day is something of a siege. There's no concept of personal space, and I'm constantly on guard, which can be a bit exchausting. I love India, and I hate it. More and more, I find myself daydreaming of New York, where hot showers are plentiful, and the beggars don't actually follow you back to your hotel.