I know that I've taken some fairly absurd positions on this blog over the years, mostly involving Tom Cruise, but now I find myself obliged to defend Roger Ebert's sexiness. Ebert recently came in third on the Boston Phoenix's list of the 100 Unsexiest Men in the World, right behind Gilbert Gottfried and Randy Johnson, and...I mean, I don't really know how to say this...but if I were an eligible young woman, I would marry Roger Ebert.