19 December 2004

While we're on the subject of parties and social quirks, I'd like to ask all of you for a bit of advice.

Every month or two I find myself at a party in the following situation. I've had a long and enjoyable conversation with a girl I've just met and whose company I've enjoyed. She's clearly enjoyed talking with me (as opposed to wandering around the party bored), but, by my read of the situation, she feels no particular need to go out of her way to talk to me again (though she'd enjoy talking to me if we were stuck at a party again). What do I do?

On the one hand, if I don't ask for a girl's number after talking to her for an hour when I've enjoyed her company, then when am I ever going to ask for anyone's number?

On the other hand, what's the point when I'm reasonably confident she's not particularly interested in me. This makes me feel silly trying, and it makes me feel unliked when I eventually call and find out that she isn't interested in me.

I think the compromise I've settled down into is that about 2/3 times I don't ask, and then I can just enjoy having had a good night and feel liked (since I met and enjoyed the company of a stranger) and not unliked (since I wasn't actually rejected); and then maybe 1/3 times I ask for her number just so that I won't go a year without at least making an attempt to meet women. But this seems like a dumb compromise.

So, any advice?

(On the good side, I can now show up at parties where I know almost no one and have a lovely time. This is a wonderful feature found only in the most recent version of Noah (v. 5.1).)

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